My dad died.
I’m supposed to keep on going, keep on working, keep on writing, keep on thinking on things, such as “how do we explain what we do to students”, or “why material matters”, or “how can we successfully use AI systems and not become more stupid nor frustrated”, or “how does language shape our thinking”, or “where’s the off button, I’m overloaded”.
Maybe the “pause”, as the “off” would be too dramatic. “Off” is what happened to my dad, that’s not what I’m searching for. What I’m searching is for direction, but not the type of direction that we’ve been given, promised as convenience, not the algorithmic one. That one has been draining me. What’s relevant when everything is relevant? And what’s more relevant than the fact that my dad is gone?
Died. No euphemisms.
Maybe life itself. He used to say “life is to be lived” and he lived by that, he did it his way. He did not live a long life, though. Who am I to judge his decisions? Aren’t we all doing the best we know? And if we are, can we know better?
I’ve been selecting and listening music albums, going from book to book, buying DVD’s again. Who convinced us on stop buying DVD’s? Every time I want to watch a movie, I write on Netflix the title and it tells me: “if you’re looking for X, well that we don’t have, but you might be interested in Y, Z, A, B, C”.
No, I’m not. Is anyone?
So I go to Youtube, Amazon Prime, You Name It, and they have it! Amazing! I’m gonna watch it! “We have it and it’s in German, for your convenience”, they tell me.
I’m just gonna do something else. No movie tonight, watching something dubbed in other language is a crime. Sorry. I also don’t know how can I watch it in any other legal way. So the crazy idea of buying DVD’s again came to my mind. And do you remember that DVD’s come with a lot of bonuses, like how the movie was made, details about the OST, camera, cast? You not only end up watching the movie you wanted to see in the first place, you remember far more of it afterward. And then there’s the case, the graphic design, and the object itself.
Intention.
That has helped me keep going.
That has helped me keep working.
And that’s also what’s going to help me start writing again.